I hadn’t been to either coast, or much further than the midwest but I pay very close attention and I DESPERATELY WANTED (I STILL DO!!) to see the world.
ALL.
OF.
IT.
EVERYTHING!!!!
It was very likely the first gift I’d been given with my name on it. When I was a child, in the 80’s, paint pens were a VERY big deal. By the time I left for college, I had LOADS of shit with my name on it😀
I have had the personalized California license plate (above) since my father brought it back from a business trip early in his corporate career.
My son said it best when his aunt gave him a beautifully funky, crocheted blanket.
“I love the feeling of getting a gift that I KNOW I’ll have for the rest of my life”.
He cherishes it so much that he hauled the 100 square feet of blanket (easily 15lbs!) to another aunt’s house for a visit. He’s MY child: passionate, prepared, hopeful, and nostalgic.
At the time I was given the vanity plate there was a lot of talk about the great state of California. My father had recently begun traveling to LA one week every month.
Growing up in a household readily and regularly connected to a geographic opposite as globally important as Los Angeles has significantly influenced my worldview.
The personalized plate was designed to be attached to the back of a child’s bike rack or bike seat but it NEVER did make its way onto mine.
. . . UNTIL just the other day, over FOUR DECADES later.
“But WHY you ask!?
The delay may have had something to do with “stranger danger” which is laughably ironic, given the monster I battled daily. . .
That moment, just the other day, came after months of settling into a new home, after finalizing a divorce and just weeks after officially (ironically!) changing my name.
That moment was the VERY first moment that I possessed ALL of the following:
- A miniature California custom plate (“Erica”)
- A bike
- Zip ties
- Inclination to do something frivaless/fun/self-serving/just-because
- Time
- Energy
As my son’s amazing partner might say: “BOOM and Boooom!”
As astonishing as it sounds, I possessed a miniature California vanity plate, designed for a child, for a LIFETIME before I developed the agency to make MYSELF happy.
The plate was married to my bike at the start of the summer.
Several weekends ago, I was lucky enough to spend time with three beautiful women whom I’ve known for nearly 30 years.
They are REAL friends, who know me well. “A” and I were each other’s de facto roommates mid-way through our sophomore year once our choosen roommates dropped out and moved home. “L” and “R” had gone to high school together. “A” and “L” met in a freshman recitation. And, of course, am “E”.
Junior year in college the four of us found ourselves living in a rickety house just north of campus, navigating bills, chores, schedules, relationships, money troubles, mid-terms, day-to-day communication, dishes and drunken escapades.
As I edit this, I’m on a plane bound for Detroit, originating on the west coast. My friend, N, and I had been in the Pacific Northwest to attend a mutual friend’s wedding and I am keenly aware that I would not be sitting in this seat without three things:
- Enough self-love to enroll in a treatment center near Seattle two-years ago where I met several important new friends.
- Our dear friend, A, a critical supporter during said treatment.
- One of my oldest and best friends, “N” who has supported me through nearly three decades and sooooo much drama🥰
This was not the first time “N” and I have traveled together but it’s the furthest and longest we’ve gone. We had so much fun!
I learn important things about myself EVERY time I travel and this time I was so happy to be doing someTHING that I love, someWHERE that I love, meeting new PEOPLE to LOVE while celebrating and supporting someONE that BOTH “N” and I love.
Long-standing friendships are wild, wonderful, interesting, enlightening, and oh so informative and – gratefully – they continue to lead me back to the truest, most-beautiful version of myself.
The women mentioned here, my closest friends, have seen me silly-drunk, crazy-stressed, scared-for-my-life, elated, excited, overwhelmed, inspired and oh-so-happy.
Without them I wouldn’t KNOW or LOVE myself ❤️
Sincerely,
envd
*carpe diem*
Collecting Pieces of Me 