Miss Nelson is Missing is one of my favorite children’s books. In the book, Miss Nelson is a sweetly patient elementary school teacher whose students take her kind demeanor for granted. One morning, Miss Nelson decides to employ her alter-ego, Ms. Viola Swamp, a strict, no-nonsense “substitute” teacher.
The book was read to me as a kid, I’ve read the book to my own children. I have always loved Miss Nelson, but I respect her because she had the courage, the savvy to become Viola Swamp. I was originally drawn to Viola Davis because of her name; I paid attention to her because of her fierce integrity. I fell in love with her while watching her play one of my heroes, Michelle Obama, in the incredible docu-drama series, First Lady.
Ms. Nelson’s students, after their short stint with Ms. Swamp and blessed with a new appreciation for their teacher, approach Detective McSmogg (one of my absolute favorite character names EVER!), in hopes of finding and reinstating Miss Nelson.
Eventually, without explanation (“I’ll never tell”) Ms. Nelson “returns” to find that her class is able to listen, respect and appreciate her.
Michelle is fierce! Obviously, it takes a strong actress with a lot of chutzpah and heart to play her. Viola Davis commands the role in a way that is believable while simultaneously commenting on the events portrayed. This is her genius💪🏻
It was, for this reason, that I put her audiobook memoir on hold back in May and I have been waiting, anxiously, to listen to her tell me her own story for nearly four months.
I began listening to the above podcast, Unlocking Us, several weeks ago and I was impacted by it. If I had to guess, I neglected to finish the episode because I was hopeful that the audiobook would be available soon and I wanted to listen to the book before hearing Viola and Brene discuss it.
Over this last week, I have spent significant time researching and considering treatment for PTSD. So it felt like something akin to divine Providence when, yesterday evening, feeling anxious and unsure . . . I had the support of my husband and my job, but I was anxious to talk about the inpatient program, and subsequent impact, with my children . . . I picked up where I left off many weeks ago at, approximately, minute 26.
As a child, I fantasized that my sweet mother would finally “show up” for herself . That she would find a “costume” or somehow muster the strength to become her own version of Viola Swamp; that she could love herself enough to see the impact her childhood had on her, on her own children and, eventually recognize the insidious, narcissistic, relational abuse we were all subjected to while being told we were lucky to be receiving (read TRAPPED) by it.
I am alive today because I was afraid for my mother… and, later, my sister, and then, my brother. I’ve persisted because I love my husband and my children. Thanks to Miss Viola Swamp, Brené Brown, Michelle Obama, several therapists and many, many more amazing, fierce, brave women – many of whom I am lucky enough to call friends – I am learning – to love myself.
*carpe diem*
Collecting Pieces of Me 