I woke UP excited about this blog:-) It’s been on my mind all day. I’ve held it up as a “reward” in my mind: “If you finish organizing your office, you can write.”
I feel similarly to when I was writing my grandfather every day, but better even. My grandfather is no longer alive and, for that, I am intensely angry and dismayed. I miss him incredibly, more than I’ve missed anyone else that I’ve lost. But this blog is even better than writing to Papa in that it is for me, just for me.
I’ve been home for nine days. I parked my car in the garage on Thursday, June 16th and it has not moved since and, for the most part, either have I. I have been home with Covid. Today, I ALMOST left when my husband asked whether I wanted to come along to pick up my son from an outing. Wondering what the world outside of my yard looks like these days, I was excited to tag along, planning to roll the windows down, wearing a mask and staying in the car but that plan was dashed when my daughter, who wanted to come along too, was uncomfortable riding in a car given my STILL positive covid test that I’d taken the night before. I was grateful that she was excited to see her brother and aquieced.
After a solid week of (mostly) solitude, I seriously considered downloading facebook and/or instagram onto my cell phone. But then I remembered that I started this blog last summer. It seems like a good idea to give it a go. I have enjoyed a presence of mind since logging off of social media that I haven’t expereinced since the nineties. As a highly sensitive person who loves people, I am often overcome with emotion, not always good emotion, when I read about events, problems, people, especially friends. And, withiout this interaction, I feel isolated and out of touch.
It’s highly likely that this blog, like my penpalship with my grandfather, will be a one-way street. If that’s the case, I won’t complain. Like I eluded to, yesterday, I’m over 2 decades late to the “blog party”, I know that it is unlikely that my friends and family will go out of their way to tune in to a platform that requires extra steps but, for now, if I feel excited and it encourages me to write on a daily basis, I’ll take it.
There have been so many terrible things about having covid: missing out on a long-awaited family trip to an amusement park, worrying about infecting my family, seeing the worry on my husband’s face, knowing that I’ve – unintentionally of course – added to his list of “to do’s”, my tweenage daughter’s angst over not wanting to socialize for fear of infecting others. Missing work during a pivotal and transitional time, even having to reschedule a pest control appointment because the emplyee was unvaccinated and didn’t want to interact with me even outside with a mask on. But the good, ah yes, where was I, the positives to being home, mostly isolated for a week and a half? Time alone to think! Time to rest, reset and evaluate my life. Time in my office, just today, I organized my books and hung two shelves. I need to figure out how to add photos here so I can show off my handy work!
Without covid, I don’t think I’d be in this headspace or this physical/geographical space. For this, I am excited and incredibly grateful!
*carpe diem*
Collecting Pieces of Me 